An Interview with Alanis Morissette. July 1997.
mso productions
My motivation for creating this show was initially to have something for
myself to keep as a souvenir. Something I could look back on in five or
40 years and gasp, shudder, be sentimental and proud. As it was nearing
its completion, I felt the urge to share it with others. It's a document
of what it was like to tour and support a record that was and continues
to be very special to me. It captures being on the road during a time
where the illusion taunted my/our growth and where the seductive and
somewhat unrealistic aspects of our lifestyles tested us daily. While I
could never do the two years justice in an hour and a half (there was a
lot left out), I did my best to show the different mindsets, moods, Coping
mechanisms and humor that carried us through months of extremes.
I am happy to share these moments, knowing that things (and I) will
never be the same.
It taught me to grow in my assertiveness, how to find my center in the middle
of craziness, how to be a boss, that focusing on the songs/music above all else
is the only way for me, that fame/adulation/celebrity status is illusory, how
beautiful women are and how beautiful men are when they are fearless about
sharing all sides of themselves unapolegetically.
The writing/recording process went by so quickly I never thought to analyze
something that was never meant to be analyzed in the first place. My songs
are expressions and snapshots of moments. There are some nights where
I would channel my rage through certain songs...other nights where I would
channel my sadness or compassion through others. It is not difficult for me
to go back to the root emotion behind one of my songs. It was easy because
every night there were new people to communicate to...the conviction would
return simply because I was engaging in a new conversation with a new
"person."
While it may have seemed like I was surrounded by allies, life on the
road can be very insulated, therefore isolating. There is no handbook on
how to deal with road life and external success, much less how to dispel
the illusion without seeming spoiled and ungrateful. Meditation taught
me how to get back to the fundamental truth. We get distracted by all
that is outside of ourselves in this desperate race to "get" something
that will make us feel whole and connected. We seek bliss through
"things" (other people, money, status, sex, adulation...etc) when all we
have to do is be still. Because what we so desire is in the silence. It
is us. It is tiring and futile to try to grasp for it by attaining or
achieving "things." Meditation, along with "achieving" what could have
seemingly been the "ultimate achievements," made me realize that we are
all sadly and ignorantly chasing our tails.
Endearing. There is nothing sweeter than watching (hearing) someone who
doesn't speak English try so hard to communicate, much less sing! I'm
guessing the foreign countries either sang the words phonetically or
learned the words over time. A lot of the countries had the lyric book
from the CD printed in their language...so they knew what I was "going
on about" as someone in Japan put it (Ha).
The earlier shows were truly all about me/us getting my/our bearings.
Trying to find the balance between entertainment and communication (I
eventually enjoyed the latter much more). What was happening at that
time was overwhelming in that the curveballs were coming at such a rate
that I barely had enough time to catch my breath before the next
situation had to be grappled with. There was a while where I was briefly
swept away by what I now call "the bullshit." My fear was manifested in
a persona onstage that was over the top and urgent. In time the urgency
turned into a more relaxed and unapologetic expression. A less fishbowl
consciousness. I realized both on and offstage that if someone wanted to
listen to me they would meet me halfway...I didn't have to whack them
between the eyes to get my point across. Those who wanted to listen
would, those that didn't, didn't have to. This realization resulted in a
big turning point for me. If for a brief moment I was lured away from
the songs themselves, this revelation guided me back.
I had 220 hours worth of footage...
My courage comes from my ability to be unapologetically vulnerable. I
have found my vulnerability to be very empowering. (Vulnerability does
not mean weakness, it means fearlessness.) To be afraid of my weaknesses
and to always "put my best foot forward" (which is what could have been
done with this show) would be misrepresenting what actually happened.
Being an artist means you are on a journey. An emotional and creative
one. I believe they go hand in hand. And I have no problem having people
come along with me on that journey for however long they'd like.
That song has been misunderstood at times. It was written during a time
when I was hurt (thankfully) by someone whom I had relied upon to give
me my self-worth. When you give someone that power, the biggest favor
they can do for you is to give it back. That is what this person did
(although not in the kindest way) and I was broken. The song helped me
honestly release how I felt without censoring myself in order to get it
out of my system. The acoustic version taps into the original emotion
that inspired the song in the first place. It was much easier for me to
be angry, than openly sad.
Road life is different for everyone...It is a place where it is mysteriously easy
to self-destruct. My role was one of leader, friend, mother, boss, child. I dealt
with feminism issues as well as the issue of where to draw the professional
boundary with certain people. At the end of the day we were all there for each
other as much as we could be under the circumstances and we became a
temporary family. There were a lot of beautiful moments that I will never forget.
Go back to Jagged Little Pill / Old, rare recordings and more... / Go back to the main page
